Forgiveness ~ some thoughts

 

This week a blogger friend and author Tracie Stier-Johnson has released her book 31 Days of Forgiveness {through the eyes of grace}!! I am so excited for her and I am jumping in here at the end of the week to join many others in blogging about this book of hers.

 

 

Forgiveness is something I am wrestling with…again. I used to feel so raw about the subject that I couldn’t really handle listening to most Christians talk about it. But right now I’ve actually come to a place where I’m ok with listening to various takes on the subject. I think people are very brave to tackle this subject in a book, article, blog post, or even just a conversation with someone!

 

And yet, I don’t feel brave for writing this blog post! Far from it! I am scared to death and have put this off for weeks!!(Sorry for all the exclamation marks but it’s the best I can do at conveying just how freaked out I am!)

 

 

Forgiveness is messy. That’s what I’ve come to see.

 

You know that saying “Forgive and Forget”?

 

Yeah, not so easy.

 

We do not totally forget and the moment you say “I forgive you” it doesn’t mean the forgiving stops.

 

So then HOW do we forgive?

 

Yeah, that’s where it gets real messy for me and where I am wrestling.

 

 

I have no plans here to lay it out and give you the answer. I do however, want to share some thoughts as I begin reading 31 Days of Forgiveness.

 

In her book Tracie shares this verse from Luke 22:44

 

“And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

 

This verse stopped me in my tracks, especially when it comes to the subject of forgiveness.

 

It makes me think of just how much anguish Jesus went through before he went to the cross for us so that we might be forgiven.

 

I’m comforted to know that I am not crazy for struggling so much to forgive others. Even Jesus, who was the perfect God/Man was in so much anguish over it that he sweat drops of blood! I never understood how that could be, before I went through something where I was acutely hurt, but now I have an inkling. Nothing like what He went through of course, but it’s painful.

 

Jesus, being God, understood the WHY of what was to happen to him – he wanted to forgive and be a part of that (otherwise he would have not come to earth!) – and that was part of the struggle maybe? I don’t begin to understand all of what He must have been thinking especially being an All-Knowing God! But I do know as a human, struggling to forgive someone who has wronged me…There is a great struggle within me of wanting to be gracious and merciful. Wanting to not wish bad to happen to someone or the same pain and hardship on them…because I know what pain I am going through having been hurt! And am so incredibly thankful and relieved that God is merciful and gracious to me when I don’t deserve it.

 

AND at the same time I am struggling with the sinful nature that I still have to deal with here on earth. When hurt, I want the other party to know and understand the pain I feel. To pay for what they’ve done. And I want them to know just how disappointed, angry and upset I am. I want them to realize clearly the reality I live in now thanks to their choice to hurt me. It’s quite a wrestling match inside of me!

 

If Jesus experienced intense anguish and pain as he faced the cross and was/is perfect, without sin? It encourages me to know that

 

a) He undestands me and my struggles and

 

b) it’s not strange that there would be this wrestling going on within me over the hurt, emotions, and the struggle between my sin nature and me the New Creation (the REAL me).

 

It doesn’t excuse what was done. Nor does it excuse me from forgiving.

 

In fact, it shows me more and more just how amazing God’s love is for us. That He would send Jesus and that Jesus would take all our sin on himself and die for us. What love!

 

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“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” ~1 Peter 4:8 {NLT}

 

“God’s love isn’t cautious and has no restrictions. He doesn’t love us to get something from us. God has loved us before we were ever born . . . extravagantly.” ~ Tracie Stier-Johnson

 

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If you go over to Tracie’s site : Tracie Stier-Johnson {believing in better} you can check out the giveaway she has going on and other important information about her book.